Child Development: DIY Reward & Consequence Chart

My three year old is a bundle of energy, sass, strong will, and temper all tied together with flaming red hair. It's been a struggle showing her the ways of not being a little jerk, when all she wants to do is play - and Lord help the one who hinders playtime. We've tried every (ethical) way of disciplining we could think of, but NOTHING was working. Then I realized something.

It isn't working, because she isn't getting anything out of it.

That's when I decided she needed a Reward & Consequence Chart. She needed something she could SEE, with goals to work towards, for the chance of EARNING something. So, after scouring Pinterest and not finding anything I liked, this is what I came up with:

"Reward" 

I decided to create a very simple chart that would only last a week, as a sort of trial. I listed the days of the week along the top, and her goals along the side. I tried to stick to the things that she was struggling with, rather than with all of the things that were expected of her. Examples; Staying in bed, cleaning up toys, eating all of her dinner, etc.. Simplicity is best. Don't make a chart with outrageous demands that a child could really never live up to. Focus on the things they struggle with.

As you can see from the chart in the photo above, it really didn't go as well as I had hoped. But, I have to let you in on a little secret... The photo above is from week 2. She didn't get a single star the first week - and it upset her. So on the second week, she worked really hard, and earned 5!

We made a deal after getting zero stars the first week. When she earns ten stars, she gets a prize (picking out a treat at the store). Once she understood the game, she was very willing to play!

"Consequence"

Down at the bottom of the reward chart, you will see a little sliver of chart that we dedicate to the consequences. It is divided in half. You have the good side :) and you have the bad side :(. There are three colored notches on each side. The green one, the yellow one, and the red one. There are also three clothespins that fit into those notches with the same colors, and a consequence written on them.

GREEN - Strike 1 - 5 minutes timeout. When it is moved over to the bad side, she has to sit in time out for five minutes, and then loses electronics.
YELLOW - Strike 2 - 10 minutes timeout. When it is moved over to the bad side, she has to sit in timeout for ten minutes, and then loses arts and crafts (one of her favorites).
RED - Strike 3 - 15 minutes timeout. When it is moved over to the bad side, she has to sit in timeout for fifteen minutes, and then loses all toys. At this point, she has lost everything that she enjoys, from least favorite to most favorite.

Again, like the rewards, it is very simple. You don't want to over-complicate things for kids. The strike system worked way better than I expected it to. I thought maybe she wouldn't take it seriously, or the severity of it wouldn't really sink in - but after getting nothing but strikes the first week, she has determined she doesn't enjoy them - and tries to avoid them! Score!

How to make it:

Again, this was just my trial chart - but it has worked SO WELL. I think I will modify it so that the stars aren't stickers, but rather velcro, so that the single week can be reusable.

Time Required: 10 minutes

SUPPLIES NEEDED:

1. Paper. I used 12x12 Cardstock paper from Michael's that I had lying around.
2.  Tape (could also use glue or a stapler)
3. Markers (could also use paint). I used Rainbow Arts dual tip brush pens.
4. Clothespins
5. White ink pen. I used this one.
6. Ruler
7. Star Stickers (or hearts or whatever you want to use) OR Velcro with little felt stars for something reusable. 

STEP 1
Use your ruler to draw 7 lines across your paper, and 7 lines down, creating your chart. In the first box in the top left hand corner, write "Did you..." or just leave blank. Go ahead and label your days of the week across the top. Think of all the things you want your child to work on. Do they need to listen better? Clean up toys? Stop hitting siblings? Write them down along the left hand side of the chart.

 STEP 2
Grab your clothespins and markers. Color the first one green, then label it (using your white pen) STRIKE 1 + whatever punishment you deem fit. I did both sides. Then do your second one with yellow, and write with a black pen on this one. Same thing, only STRIKE 2. The third one is colored red, and STRIKE 3 using the white pen.

STEP 3
Cut a small 3x5 piece of cardstock paper out from a separate piece. Use your markers to draw a line down the middle, creating the divide between the good side and the bad side. Then, create your notches. Three little rectangles on each side of the paper, the approximate size of the end of the clothespins. Color them in green, yellow, red, on each side. With mine, I used my white pen (and black one) to write 1, 2, 3 in the colored notches on the left side, and then NO TV, NO ART, NO TOYS, in the colored notches on the right side.

STEP 4
Finally, just tape (or glue or staple) your 3x5 discipline card to the bottom of the reward chart and hang it where you please. Easy!

BONUS STEP
If you decide to go the velcro route, then put a small piece of velcro in each square. Then cut out (or buy pre-cut) felt stars to use instead of stickers.